Teaching Children Meditation

One of the most beautiful instincts that we have as humans is to want to share the things that have brought us peace or love or joy. This is doubly true when we are parents or caretakers of young children, and we have the wonderful, evolutionary engrained desire to give kids the very best. There is so much good in this.

As with much in life, though, there are reasons to be cautious here, too. Strongly held, rigid belief systems–including the belief that we are right about what other people, including our children, need–can cause real damage by working against the natural flow and variety in life.

Blessedly, by keeping an open mind and through leading by our own loving example, we have wonderful opportunities to positively influence the spiritual journeys of the children in our lives. Children are always watching and learning and have a natural curiosity about and openness to the world. By respecting their autonomy and developmental stages, and by remembering and honoring the inherent wisdom of children, we can have confidence that we are offering children true gifts.

Important Things to Keep In Mind With Kids of All Ages

Some of us remember our own childhoods clearly, and some of us don’t. It is no matter which category you fall into, because you have the ability to demonstrate compassion for other humans–and children are humans, too. However, there are some guidelines that can help us to remember our especially strong influence over the children in our lives. Let’s take a look:

Show, don’t tell.

All of us, adults and children alike, know when we are being lied to or being told something entirely disingenuous. (Think of adults who have yelled at their kids to be quiet. So many of us have been there!) Remember, people hear us on the level we are speaking from. When we demonstrate kindness, compassion, humor, and forgiveness, we are modeling behavior in a way that no dogma or lecture ever could. What we do is so much more important than what we say.

Your own practice comes first.

Related, but incredibly important is that when we allow children to see us walking our own spiritual path–with the confusion, mistakes, and love inherent in that journey–we are giving them the gift of being able to witness the process. When children see us practicing meditation, for instance, they become naturally curious about it. Our own practice, and the results–create their own magnetic draw. Living the teachings is the best form of teaching there is.

Don’t try to “fix” children.

We are not trying to “fix” our children because they are not broken. Children are not dumb, they are learning–just like each one of us. Our role with children is to help polish their mirrors; to let them know just how wise they are and to teach them to trust themselves. We all know when people are trying to change us into something different into what we are. Unfortunately this is something that many of us experienced when we were children ourselves–and have spent a lifetime trying to untangle ourselves from. Remember, fixing implies brokenness; reflect wholeness instead.

Don’t ask children to lie to you.

Put another way: allow and encourage children to tell you the truth of their own experience. If a child tells us they didn’t like meditating and we react with surprise or sadness, we are teaching them not to be truthful with us. Don’t ask questions that children might not feel like they can answer honestly. Keep humor, a long-view, and your own compassionate instincts close at hand.

Allow children to keep their private lives private.

Kids don’t owe us access to their own internal experiences. If you ask a child “How was that for you?” and they answer “Fine.” or “Good.” this likely means that they want to keep their experience to themself. Respecting that will engender trust. Don’t push, prod, or demand to know more.

It’s fine to ask more leading questions, like “Did you notice anything that surprised you?” but if you ask questions a few different ways and are not getting in-depth answers, respect that a child (or an adult for that matter!) is taking care of themself and kindly back away.

Trust children to find their own truths.

Spoiler alert: your child’s path will be different than yours. If it is important to you that your child believe exactly what you do, your best bet is to continue to deepen your own practice and focus daily on the idea of “showing, not telling.” As children grow up, harsh and strict dogma that they are not allowed to question or interpret for themselves will either be accepted or rejected.

Have faith in your faith. But even more: have faith in the children in your life. Allow for questioning. Practice saying: “This is what I believe. What do you think?” and let them answer truthfully. You found your own way; they will, too.

Treat every child you meet like God in drag.

We are not smarter than children; we have merely been alive longer. Children have their own wisdom. (Some people believe that because they were more recently born into this world, children are, in fact, closer to God.) When we accept the idea that the guru is in each of us, that enlightened wisdom and inherent goodness are part of each human, we can apply this truth to humans of all ages. Children–through their clear thinking, their sense of wonder, and their trust in the process–have so much wisdom to share with each of us. Yes, we teach children. But they can teach us just as much. Stay open.

Have any feedback or stories to share? I’d love to hear! You can always reach out to me through Instagram, in the comments or through DM’s.

May you–and the children–be well!

xo,